The Sun, A River
by Angelas
Summary: Abused, and with a very low self-esteem, Sasuke falls hard for a particular boy. A very straight boy, no less. SasuNaru
1. Stoned

**Haha, some of you probably remember the title, and you should. :D This story was taken down for a stupid reason, so I decided to re-post. And completely re-write, as well. Not the plot, per say, but just.. everything else.**

**It's better, trust me. :D**

**Warnings: Incest. Rape. Language. All of that.**

**I disclaim! D: No gey secks in the anime.**

**OoO**

I was thirteen when my dad caught me with Itachi Uchiha in the back of his silver Volvo.

We were parked behind the old ramen shop located not far from Elder Leaf Middle at eleven o'clock on a Thursday night.

Itachi is my brother.

He was nineteen.

I didn't love him.

I'm not sure that I even liked him.

The car was stuffy from sweat, and we were stoned.

We'd been doing the same thing we'd done a thousand times before ever since my seventh birthday. I could smell the fresh fragrance of the nearby river, and in my head, I imagined how it would've felt like to have been inside its cold embrace.

Not being able to smell him.. Not being able to feel the constant slapping of his skin against me, or the long hair that splayed like ink against my face..

Not being able to breathe. Not being able to _live_.

That was what I wanted.

The thought of drowning in that river transfixed my mind. It snatched it away from me. I loved that. I couldn't think of a better, more suiting death for myself.

I wanted to die so badly.

To have had the gelid water burning at my insides. To have it slice at every organ, to feel myself aflame from the outside in. Over and over again.

**"**Spread your legs a little more.."

His whispers were always so frightening. His commands, so filthy.

I didn't dare open my eyes then. To see his familiar face so close to me again, to be reminded of just how identical his features were to mine.

His jaw was my own as my nose was his.

My brother. My blood.

His continuous, dirty whispering was a million miles away from me then. My voice didn't exist. Neither did his grunts, his cursing, or the demeaning names. He was not real as I imagined myself dying over and over again.

Nobody was.

My eyes involuntarily opened the moment I felt him probing at my stretched asshole with his dick still crushed in it. I was immediately reminded of where I really was.**  
**I lied there. Naked. In that car, with my brother on top of me. I could feel his prick rubbing fiercely against my insides at a painful, animalistic pace. The feeling was shaming. I was pathetic. Filthy and disgraced.

I didn't move, and I took it like a bitch.

I didn't have the strength or the courage to do anything he didn't want me to. I felt my thighs being pushed towards my head so that my legs were on either side of my face. The position hurt. I didn't argue, though. I didn't even blink.

He could have me any way he wanted. I didn't care anymore. I stopped caring the day I realized just how much of a worthless shit I was compared to him.

Mother was always proud of him. She always smiled at him, hugged, and kissed him. She persistently bought him the best of anything in Konoha, without fail. She told him that she loved him. Missed him. Was proud of him.

Father wasn't much different.

Father worshiped Itachi like a God. He told my brother everything he knew, taught him as much as he could. Fugaku did anything that could possibly make Itachi more perfect than he already was. Anything to make him better than me.

Anything.

I, on the other hand, was ignored, of course. The unwanted, unplanned, nearly-aborted child (I know this because I once read the first few pages of one of my mother's diaries).

Her written words made me angry. Ashamed. I wished I would have died. I wished she would have never changed her mind.

A sturdy hand choking at my throat snapped me away from my thoughts. Itachi always liked doing that. Watching me gag, seeing me near death. I wished he would really just do it one day. To not let go, to watch as my eyes rolled back into my skull as he drilled for more oil even after I died.

But no.. He would eventually let go every time.

I looked towards the hazy image of my brother's handsome face and resented him.

He was so beautiful.

His jawline was unbearably masculine, his eyes, a deep scarlet. His shoulders were broad, his lips were perfect.

I breathed in silently, lowering my legs, when I felt his hands feeling all over my chest. His perpetual, barbarous penetrations made my whole body shake. A mere second more, and I felt a sickening, thick warmth being poured from within the inner caverns of my asshole. My eyes winced, disgusted.

It hurt so bad. So fucking bad.

But I couldn't even tear up. I had always saved the tears for bedtime.

My head was spinning by the time Itachi turned me over and stabbed himself into me again. Though, there was no friction this time. He slid right in.

"Your ass is gaping.. You little slut."

He laughed a cruel, narcissistic laugh.

I did nothing.

The car moved violently beneath us, but he wouldn't stop. His hands tore at my hair, but I bit my mouth shut, sheathing all of the pain away.

It took me a second to realize that I was starting to see double. The drugs were finally kicking in.

My favorite part.

In my mind, I began to write a story.

Another story. A story in which I threw myself inside the freezing heart of the river. Lungs ablaze, eyes bloating from my head.. A story in which I died. Again.

Those were always the best ones. The stories without me in it were _always _the best ones.

My dick gave a final twitch from beneath me at both my thoughts and the hot feeling stemming from my ass when Itachi suddenly swore and got off of me.

A strong gust of wind violated the inside of the car.

Someone had opened the door, and I didn't even have to look to know who it was.

My father pulled Itachi out of the car and then me, by the hair. I was thrown on the ground, my brother standing stiff and mortified beside me.

I was naked. I was cold. And I felt nothing.

My heart didn't skip a beat. I wasn't in shock. I did not faint, I didn't cuss, I didn't run, I didn't move, I wasn't even scared. Instead, I looked straight towards the river, my eyes blank.

Itachi, on the other hand, was terrified.

His scarlet, dahlia eyes were frozen over with a sheen of shame and anxiety. His legs were bare. He was exposed before my father's eyes, his face tense and frigid like cracking ice.

He smelled of sex, of semen, and so did I. Even the harsh winter air was not enough to mask the distasteful stench from the both of us.

I had nothing to lose.

Everything would stay the same. Everyone would continue to hate me. My life wouldn't change.

It was best that way. I couldn't envisage it any other way.

One thing was assured, however.

I wouldn't **dare **look at my Father's face.

I heard him tread closer towards both of our naked bodies, his shoes thick and resounding on the solid concrete.

I imagined his face wrinkled into a horrifying frown, his eyes threatening the tears he'd failed to hold back. Tears not meant for me, but for my brother.

My eyes widened momentarily the moment I caught sight of Itachi opening his mouth to speak, only to choke on whatever words, igniting a strange sound as if someone had shot him square in the throat.

My curiosity seethed, I couldn't help it, and I stole a quick glance at my Father.

There might have been several tears slipping down his cheek, or it might have been a trick of the car's headlights bouncing off the night fog. I wasn't completely sure which one it really was.

My brother _had_ ceased his words, however. Itachi never did anything like that.

I am certain now that Fugaku had cried.

Fugaku never cried.

I heard Itachi attempt to say something again after I quickly turned away.

I did hear it.. I know I did. I just don't remember what it was.

**"**Don't." Fugaku's voice was a diamond. Solid. Unreadable.

_Unbearable_.

I closed my eyes and looked towards the ground, ashamed of getting my brother into trouble, but not the least bit ashamed for myself.

All of my shame had remained inside that car, on my bed, the smell of every night that I begged for Itachi to stop. My shame rested beneath the shower-head, on the stove, on my parents' bed, on the couch, on every wall..

There was no shame left for me. All was lost, spread, the same way my legs were every day.

There was a lot of screaming that night, I recall. No one slept. I didn't go to school the next day, and Itachi didn't go to college, either.

That was almost a year ago.

Father hadn't looked or talked to neither Itachi or I the entire time.

I was a ghost in the house, and my brother moved out.

He stopped fucking me.

I was alone, friendless. Depressed.

**OoO**

I was stuck with my parents.

I hadn't seen Itachi ever since the day he had moved out.

I couldn't deny the lingering, cursed fact that I somewhat missed him. I missed hiding in his shadow, because now, all the attention was on me.

_All_ of it.

I woke up that morning, my eyes smudged and ugly with unsettled sleep.

That day was the first day of school. I hated school, and everyone in it.

What made everything more intolerable was that I was going to a _new_ school. A new grade. A new burden.

I hated change. I hated everything.

I hadn't even beheld the insufferable building, yet I could already feel all of those eyes staring at me. Curious as to why my eyes were so black, why my hair was how it was. Questioning if I was possessed by Satan, or some such shit like that.

Nobody knows what happened on that Thursday night by the river.

No one in the Uchiha household dared open their mouths about it. Not even Itachi.

And I.. Well, why would_ I _say anything?

I kicked out of bed, sitting up on the mattress like an alien that just came down from outer space. If I had a mirror in front of me, I would've probably thrown up a little. I reeked of B.O, and my crotch was drenched in cum.

Nocturnal emissions were always so fucking lovely.

Not.

I slid my ass off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind me. One thing that I loved was the sound of noise in the morning. I loved anything that could possibly put me in a bad mood.

The face that stared back at me from the mirror was formidable. My lips were chapped. My skin was a deathly pale. My features, sallow. I resembled a melting piece of shit.

I took out the deodorant from the drawer, and sprayed some under my arms. No time for a shower, so I wiped all of the cum from in between my legs with the towel that I often dried my face with.

No use toying with the hair. It looked like a bird's ass, and I liked It that way.

I secretly mourned for longer hair, however. Hair that would almost touch my ass just like Itachi's. I would have killed for those blood-red eyes and long lashes that he had.

I would kill for _anything _that he's _ever_ had.

I dressed in a black shirt and dark, drainpipe jeans that would stick to my legs like skin. I liked the friction they gave me when I sat down.

Rubbing at my balls, caressing whatever sudden boner I would get during class.

Yeah.

Yawning, I walked out towards the kitchen, not even bothering to take my backpack with me. Fuck being ready. Fuck rules. Fuck life.

My mother was already there, waiting for me right in the kitchen entrance like a vulture would as it anticipated the inglorious death of some dejected, starving animal. A smile was on her never-aging face, and her hands held up a plate of oatmeal.

**"**I made it just for you, sweetie," she smiled, handing me the bowl. "I remember just how much you liked strawberry oatmeal in the mornings when you were little."

I wanted to correct her.

I wanted to say that it was_ Itachi _who liked strawberry fucking oatmeal, not me. But I held my tongue. I knew she missed him. I knew she missed him all the fucking time no matter how much she told my father that she didn't.

I sat down on the kitchen table and set down the bowl, ravaging the food in my mouth like a dog who hadn't eaten anything in months. Which was kind of true in this particular case. I had been surviving on Doritos and water alone those past several days.

The bowl was empty in seconds. I turned towards her, a comical look on her endearing face.

"You really need to stabilize your diet, honey. Those chips won't get you very far, now will they?" She laughed one of her quiet laughs. The kind of laugh that I knew made my heartless, insensitive, asshole of a father fall in love with her. "Well, I hope you have a great day at school, Sasuke. Don't get in trouble, and study hard. Make some friends too."

As if.

**"**I will," I choked, failing miserably at optimism. My voice had resembled that of a dying cow mooing its last worthless moos before the slaughter.

Except, in my case, the slaughter was being surrounded by a bunch of idiots.

She smiled at my stupidity like a mother would. "I love you. Get perfect grades like Ita-…"

Itachi.

**"**I mean, get good grades like your father and I did, of course!" She gave a chaste chuckle, and then reached out to give me a small hug to cover her previous crime.

Her tits crushed my face, but I didn't mind. I was confused.

Why didn't she just say it? Why didn't she rub my brother's perfection all over my face in the form of a wet, slimy dick?

Why didn't she admit the fact that I was a cheap replacement to her? Why wouldn't she express her thorough disgust towards me after I caused what I caused a year ago?

Fuck if I knew. Shit.

**"**Bye, mom," I whispered like a bitch, walking out the front door and slamming it.

Next thing I knew, I was walking towards my unpremeditated death.

**OoO**

I felt like the God that I refused to believe in was on my side that day when the Biology teacher, (some creepy scarecrow), sat me in the back of the room.

I had always been seated in the front in every grade I'd been in, and I hated it. I was actually starting to like high school altogether.

**"**Hello, I'm Mr. Hatake. Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I became lost in the road of what is known as 'life'," he drawled on as he read a small, orange book which clearly contained pornographic material. "I predict most of you are very excited to begin your experience as a high school student. All you need to do to pass my class is do what I say. Simple, ne?"

What an idiot.

I ignored everything else that came out of his mouth, and stared at the clock. Two minutes down, fifty-eight more to go. I wanted to die.

I wondered if anyone would notice if I just walked straight out of class. Of the school, even.

**"**Sasuke! Sasuke Uchiha!" he, (I presume), half-shouted across the room about twenty minutes later.

"Y-yes..Mr. Hatake?" Caught me by surprise. I was in the middle of rubbing my dick during class, after all.

**"**State your name, birthday, and favorite hobby to the class, would you."

I found it all terribly unnecessary.

And I bet he did, too, considering the incredibly uninterested tone of his irksome voice.

I cleared my throat, glancing at all the hormone-driven girls in the classroom eating me alive with their crazy, hyperactive eyes. Girls wanted to sit on my dick, and I didn't quite know why. All I knew was that I hated it.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. July 23rd. I like.." I thought about it for a moment, I really did, "Drowning."

Several incredulous gasps later, all you could hear were a couple of idiots whispering 'emo', 'freak', and 'hottie', among other inscrutably retarded things that I don't feel like remembering. I shrugged all of them off.

Fuck these bitches.

**"**Thank you. Though I would stop having drowning as a favorite hobby as soon as possible, Sasuke. Very dangerous thing, you know." He flipped the page to his porn without even as much as glimpsing my way. "Next."

I glanced at the kid sitting in the desk beside me whom I assumed would be the next to be publicly humiliated (my favorite kind of porn, by the way), and my eyes went wide.

I was instantly blinded by hair that resembled a yellow haystack, and eyes that were bluer than the shiniest shit I'd ever come across in my entire life. Not that I'd ever actually come across a shiny blue shit, but damn, his eyes were off-the-charts-blue.

Just like the river.

Just like the river that I wished with all of my piteous being that one day I would drown myself into. Glossy and blue. _Lazuline_ blue.

There were marks on his cheeks, like those of a fox, and there was a big white smile on his ecru-colored face.

I had never seen anyone, _anything_, so.. **radiant.**

Well, fuck.

I sat up in my chair and listened, listened for anything that this particular idiot had to say.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" he shouted at an incredulous volume with a blatant pride that made every idiot in the room cringe. "My birthday is on October 10th, and I like working on my presidential campaign! Dattebayo!."

If he weren't so fucking sexy, I would have probably laughed my ass off like everyone else proceeded to do moments later. A couple of girls giggled flirtatiously at him, batting their stupid eyes towards his general direction. I think a vein protruded somewhere on my body, but I would rather forget where.

I just couldn't stop staring at the idiot.

I think I thought that he was.. adorable? (God forgive me for saying such words).

I already knew I wasn't going to like him at all. Not with the butterflies in my stomach. Nope. Not at all.

When the laughter died down, I quickly turned away from him, partially ashamed.

I was not a faggot.

Of course I wasn't.. I didn't like guys. Or girls. I hated everything.

**"**Psst, hey," something whispered from somewhere around me. I dared to turn towards it, my insides twisting into a fleshy knot from within me. "I like your name, Sasuke." It was him. The idiot; Naruto.

A rush of blood betrayed my face.

I must have looked _and_ sounded like such a bitch.

"Thank you.."

I swear I hadn't meant for that to come out the way it did, and I knew that I would dearly regret it later that day.

**OoO**

Classes were over.

I was the first to get out of the stifling History classroom taught by some demented woman with watermelons for tits.

I was able to see the outline of her nipples beneath her shirt the whole time she bit everyone's head off. It was kind of hot.

I rehearsed the schedule I had in my head as I walked down the crowded halls:

_First Period__: Biology w/ Kakashi (Pervert scarecrow)_

_Second Period__: Geometry w/ Hidan (Religious fanatic who will one day end up raping everyone)_

_Third Period__: Physical Education w/ Gai (Insane weirdo with ridiculous green jumpsuit)_

_Fourth Period__: Ceramics w/ Deidara (Idiot who could pass for a woman)_

_Fifth Period__: English w/ Orochimaru (Pasty white guy who clearly wishes to fuck me)_

_Sixth Period__: History w/ Tsunade (Tits...)_

Before I could even attempt to open my locker, some jumping piece of shit almost pushed me to the ground.

I was about ready to pound my fist into said shit's face if it wasn't for what came next.

**"**HEY SASUKE!" a familiar, high-pitched voice _screamed._ "I saw you during lunch all alone and I was going to go with you but all of my friends said that it would be better if I stayed with them because you looked like a loner and you might kill me n'suff so I would like to apologize about that, oh! And my friends Sakura and Ino think you're hot and they wanna know if you would like to go out with them, they're like, super obsessed with you and—"

It was Naruto.

Talking a million words per second.

I couldn't understand half of the crap that he was spewing. I just stood there stupidly, looking at him as if he had grown a third head or something.

His face was just so.. _attractive_.

A rush of blood began to choke my face, (among.. _other.._ more insidious places), and I had to look away quickly to stop the overwhelming effect he was having on me by just.. being an idiot.

"Leave me alone. I don't know you."

The words slid right out of my mouth.

My recited sentence. The sentence I snapped at anyone who tried to talk to me.

I had no interest in having friends.

Especially friends like him. He was somebody who everyone flocked around like sheep. He was somebody who everyone liked being around.

Like Itachi.

_Just _like Itachi.

**"**Hey.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to-"

I immediately cut him off.

He was just an idiot, after all. Like all the others. What could possibly be any different about him?

**"**Fuck off," I hissed. I gave him a cold, uninviting glare and walked away, leaving behind a blatant aura of spite.

With each step that I took away from him, however, a butterfly died from within my stomach, and I could _feel_ it. My arms tensed.

I wanted to go back.. Maybe say sorry, maybe tell him that I didn't exactly mean what I said. That I liked his name..

But I didn't. Because who would want to be my friend, anyway?

Especially if they knew where I'd been nearly my whole life; beneath my own brother.

**OoO**

**Sooooo? Is it better? Is it? Is it? xD haha Poor Sasuke.. It's nice to tone him down a little now and then.**

**The next four chapters are already written. I will post each within a generous time frame. So you guys won't have to wait too long. (:**

**I'm glad that I'm continuing this. I missed it, I just had to re-post.**

**Comments below, my lovelies? :3 Thank you mucho for reading! xx**


	2. Text Me

**Ahh~ Much later than I would have liked, but here it is! Re-written and everythingg. Please enjoy as much as you can. :D My handle on a sad!Sasuke is very lacking at the moment, so it was difficult for me to portray him consistently in that manner.. I've grown so used to making him the egotistical, ungrateful, large-vocabulary-using asshole he usually is in my fics. haha**

**Warnings: Mentions of incest. Language, etc. :D**

**I disclaim.**

**oOo**

The walk home was brutal.

It was difficult dealing with the fact that I had just told an idiot I was genuinely interested in, (in some way or the other), to fuck off.

I never wanted to know anything about anyone.

Maybe I wanted to talk to him.. Perhaps I wanted to more than I think I thought I did.

I got home faster than I wanted to.

I was never quite in the mood to face the cryptic design of that cursed, wooden door. Everything that lied behind its cheap exterior consisted of hell. And that hell consisted of my parents.

I knocked on its timbered surface, nevertheless, and my mother opened the goddamned thing before I had the chance to give it a second go.

She was smiling.

Not that it was anything new, but it was that kind of smile that annotated change. The I'm-about-to-go-on-a-fuck-spree-with-my-husband-on-the-other-side-of-the-globe-and-leave-you-in-this-empty-house-all-alone, kind of change.

I avoided her eyes (which looked so freakishly like my own), and stepped inside, tossing my shitty jacket on the nearby couch. I could already sense the thick, dispiriting miasma (of what was more commonly known as my father) pooling itself on the kitchen table, stalking my every move with those hellishly brown eyes of his.

I knew that every time he looked at me he remembered.

Remembered me on the ground, naked, next to Itachi. Remembered the way my dick wouldn't stop jutting from in between my legs so shamelessly. Remembered what a disgrace I was to our oh, so perfect family.

I was nothing but a shitty memory to him. The flea that wouldn't die, the termite that would consistently survive. The worm that had tainted his perfect, older son.

I knew he hated me.

My mom sat happily next to him, holding his hand on the table with a tenderness that made me want to puke my kidneys out. Her light-colored skin contrasted heavily against his own (which was the exact same color as Itachi's), and for one reason or the other, it made me angry. I always thought that my mother was too good for my father.

Too pretty. Too nice. Too.. _human_.

After a few good seconds of standing awkwardly before them like a dick out of water, Mikoto motioned for me to take a seat.

I sat down as ordered, stared at my fascinating lap, and waited.

I wouldn't dare look at my father. Though I tried to tell myself that I disliked him and wished him dead, I was so ashamed.

Ashamed because deep inside my impassive, dispassionate being, I knew that I cared of what he thought of me. That I wanted to make him feel proud of me. That I was his son, that I carried his family name, that I had a dick just like Itachi did.

I picked at my fingers, feeling like an idiot. That would never happen. What father would look at his son the same way after having taken cock up the ass? The cock of the other son, no less?

"We're leaving today," he said, his voice cold.

I nodded, playing with my fingers underneath the table like I always did.

I imagined I grew wings and crashed out the roof. After that, I would soar towards the river, and I would plummet right in. I would then gleefully begin the process of drowning. And when there was not a breath left, I would envision my mother's face; smiling. Finally relieved of her one and only burden, and I would die.. Happily.

"Sweetie..?"

I looked up, cursing the life that clung to me, "I'm sorry.. I-"

"When your mother speaks to you, you listen. There will be no next time. Do you hear me?"

I looked away and nodded. I was fourteen with not a nerve in my body to talk back to him. I'd rather get pissed on than having to be on the other end of Fugaku's fist.

I knew my mom was calming him down somehow, however. She might have been caressing his hand, patting his back, or maybe even holding him down with her arm. Even I knew that the mere sight of me infuriated my father.

He would have happily obliged to pound my face in if given the opportunity by my mother, and I couldn't fully blame him. I was the sole remaining remnant of disgrace and incest. And that's all I would ever be to him. An imperfect reminder.

My head hurt suddenly.

"Sasuke, dear, we don't feel right giving you such a short notice, but this is an emergency. I hope you could forgive your father and I," she paused, looking at Fugaku to somehow give me the fickle delusion that both of them had planned what she was saying together. "We're hoping not to be gone too long. You're a big boy now, and we're entrusting you with the house. Kushina will come by next week to clean and tend to the cats."

The fuck was 'Kushina'..?

I could hardly hear her behind the horrible cleaving going on through my head, so I decided not to even ask. Maybe it was just some new maid. The last one was fired (quite violently) after my mother had caught Fugaku admiring her dish-washing a little _too_ much every night. It was hardly the lady's fault, in my opinion. My dad should have been the one to have taken my mother's claw-like nails to the face.

I took a breath and looked at her, "Yes, mother. I understand."

"That's good, dear."

With that, her and father stood up. I sat stiff as they went upstairs to their room, only to come back down minutes after with cases much bigger than what they would usually take to their trips. Meaning, quite obviously, that they'd be gone for well over a month. This relieved me in a way, but it also made me feel a little.. _scared_. Vulnerable.

I could regrettably admit then that I had grown terribly attached to my mother.

"Oh, Sasuke, don't give us that look, baby boy! We'll be back soon, alright?" she leaned down to kiss both my cheeks, and I felt myself redden. I hated whenever she did shit like that. "Be good, alright?"

While she went back and fourth throughout the house, my father stood by the door, his arms crossed heavily against him in their usual manner. I could literally _feel _the lava spilling from him, threatening to evanesce the very essence from me if I were to as much as stand from the kitchen chair.

Before they finally left, my mom handed me a cellphone; a smile on her face.

"Here, take it. We thought you'd need it to communicate with us if you needed anything. _Or , _maybe even talk to your friends! It's what teenagers are doing nowadays, isn't it? Texting and all of that?" she smiled sweetly, placing her lips against my forehead.

Hn.

I would be caught dead before I allowed myself to participate in said 'texting' activities.

I knew by the color and design of the thing, though, that it was Itachi's old phone.

The one he would take pictures with.. Pictures of us doing dirty, horrible things. I was inwardly relieved that my mom hadn't gone through it. If she had, I think she'd be in the hospital right then.

There was the sudden clamor of the klaxon outside, and my mom immediately hugged and kissed me goodbye as if on calculated cue. She made sure to assure me that everything would be alright one last time, that her and father would miss me. I scoffed within myself at the notion.

I was quite certain that my dad would much rather take it up his own ass before he even thought about missing me under any circumstances.

Fugaku didn't even turn to look at me when he stepped out the front door.

I felt like shit. I _was_ shit.

There I was. Alone. Just like the cats in the garage were.

Just like I deserved.

It must've been several half-hours of just sitting there like a dumbass before I decided to go into my room and play some videogames. I was desperate to get my mind off things. Several things, actually. For one, that my mother wouldn't be around for a while, and two..

To forget what I had done earlier that day to the idiot at school.

It was funny, pitiful really, how such a brainless moron had popped into my head at a time like that.

I spent a considerable amount of time attempting to get into the game I was owning ass at, but I just couldn't. My mind freely went back and forth between the yellow-headed creep, and the way that I had blown him off in such a fucked up way.. (no pun intended). He looked a little sad when I had walked away.

His eyes, (which were shiny as fuck), had dimmed.

Surely, he wouldn't try to speak to me again. I knew it then, and for some reason that I couldn't quite conjure up as a credible enough excuse to make myself feel better, it hurt.

I put the controller down, and looked at the wall.

I stared at almost nothing, hoping in the very back of my mind that the river's waves would somehow reach my house in some sort of premeditated miracle and take me with it. So I could drown.

Something about the wall caused me to remember Itachi.

I began to tread what many would fear to tread, and the clear outline of my brother's handsome face began to take its place in the inner depths of my cognition. No matter what I tried, it seemed, he always surfaced someway or the other.

Though, who could blame the asshole? All he had to do was flip his hair, and people fell to their knees before him. As if he were some sort of chosen deity, or some such vaginal shit.

He must've been at least twenty now.

Taller than he was before, perhaps, and desired by anyone he happened to cross paths with. I questioned my existence and glared at the ceiling.

I then made the inexcusable mistake of having allowed myself to wonder what he might have been doing all of that past time, and that's when the insanity began.

I immediately got on my laptop, punching in his name in every search engine I could think of.

I got several results, but one stuck. It was a link to his University. I clicked on it almost desperately, my eyes frantic on the screen. There was a title at the top, 'Honored Students on an Oscillating Career Path'. Scrolling down almost feverishly, I finally came across an image of him, an indented caption at the bottom which lied nearly hidden:

_Theoretical Psychology: Uchiha, Itachi_

My eyes scoured his photograph, vigorously tracing the familiar outlines of his masculine, yet effeminate, complexion.

For some ridiculous reason that I strained myself not to dwell on, a tinge of excitement welled up within my chest.

He was truly so handsome.

I would look like the epitome of nihility if I were to stand beside him.

His hair had gotten much longer, and his eyes were the same eminent tint of scarlet. He seemed to have been presenting something to a large group of people with a highly intensive look on his face. He wore a skin-tight turtleneck, allowing me to inadvertently admire the outline of his fastidious figure. His mannerisms reflected through like laurels in the picture. With but a mere glimpse, his obsession with order and cleanliness was clear and distinguished.

I remembered back when I would see him bare every night, and I felt a searing tinge of what must have been.. _pride_.

Several minutes passed before I finally realized exactly what I was doing.

Absolutely disgusted and repulsed at myself, (not that I wasn't always, but still), I quickly closed all of the windows I'd disturbingly opened, nearly catapulting the laptop off my lap as if some sort of monster were crawling out of it.

Which, in a way, it was.

I tore at my hair, screwing my eyes shut in a pathetic attempt to try and shake away the thoughts.

Thoughts of him.

Of how much I was afraid to miss him.

**oOo**

I woke up to the dreaded noise of my alarm clock.

My eyes were heavy on me, and the headache from last night was rawer than ever.

My palm slapped itself on the annoying thing, an eye managing to peek through the thick veil of my unsettled sleep. It felt like every cavum on my face was being painfully stretched, but I managed to make out the bright, blinking numbers.

8:50.

Fuck.

I was incredibly fucking late to school.

Kicking out of the covers, I forced myself to function. I sprinted to my closet, sliding on some random white t-shirt and black, faded jeans. No time for a shower. Again.

I could hardly bring myself to look into the mirror. Must've looked utterly disgusting.

Not that I don't always. But one could only hope to look like their perfect brother.

I dashed out the door, hardly remembering to lock it.

All I remember from that trip to school was that I was cold and worried. My father would be enraged knowing I was late.

I stepped inside the Biology room, and every idiot in the room got quiet.

I awkwardly allowed the door to slam from behind me, halfheartedly making my way towards my seat in the back. Some bitch with pink hair kept staring at me, making me feel even more fab-fucking-tab-ulous. Kakashi was clearly pissed, and from the corner of my eye, I could see Naruto's yellow hair.

He was there. He was there watching me make a complete fool of myself.

Incredibly nervous, and blatantly humiliated, I took a seat and apologized. No effect.

"You're late, Uchiha", Kakashi snapped, watching me with those irksome, lazy eyes. "Why?"

It took me an entire minute to process the information. My face was burning, my lungs on fire. My fingers practically raped themselves on my lap.

"I woke up late.."

"I would like to see your parents after school tomorrow, Uchiha."

It was just _one _fucking time for crying out loud, "They're out of state."

"Any aunts? Uncles? Older siblings..?"

"I..."

"Why am I even asking? I'll contact the office today after school."

I tried not to look like a complete bitch, but the inflammation and perspiration on my face was a patent giveaway. Some kids were snickering, others staring. I closed my eyes, imagining water. Glacial water, the kind that would plunder the life out of you ever so slowl-

"You okay?"

I looked to my left, towards the whisper. It was none other than Naruto. It took me by surprise, and I nearly choked on the air in my lungs.

He looked so.. **beautiful **that day..

His eyes were so blue. His hair, so yellow. His ecru-tinted skin, fluorescent. Everything, all of him.. seemed to have been_ glowing_.

"Y-yeah.. I'm fine." I cringed at the sound of my own voice, swallowing It away.

Why did that moronic, inglorious piece of a dim-witted idiot have such a stupid, fan-girlish effect on me? I did not know.

The rest of the day went painfully slow. Like, glass sliding up your ass _slow_. Would that fucker really call my parents over such a stupid little thing..? Or even.. Itachi. Would they tell him to come down there?

I was stressing myself out to the point of no return, entirely vulnerable to my surroundings; which might have been the reason why I ricocheted off my chair when the last bell finally rang. I very nearly sprinted out of the building if it weren't for catching a glimpse of Naruto just outside the school's entrance.

I stopped, attempting to look his way without looking like a gushing faggot. Which I probably did, anyway.

He was talking to some girl with purple hair and gray, creepy eyes. She played with her fingers as Naruto savagely flirted, looking like she were to give out and faint at any given moment.

The very familiar flare of jealousy made its way through my innards, and I almost glared. Something about the setting, however, suddenly caused Naruto to look my way.

"Hey! Sasuke!" he seemed to have very quickly bid goodbye to the blushing, crackbrained girl, but not before he scribbled something on a piece of paper, handing it to her. He began to walk towards me. "What's up? This morning must have sucked for you, huh? Kakashi's been in a bad mood all day!"

I stared dumbly at him, trying my best to imitate some sort of nod, but my neck wouldn't give out.

"Huh? Something on my face?" he quickly touched his cheeks, leaving me in a pink, slowly-erecting mess. "No wonder Hinata wouldn't say anything!"

"No.. I just.. I need to get home."

I couldn't possibly bear it anymore.

I began making my way down the steps, trying not to show the shamelessly exhilarated expression on my face, but the idiot persisted in his chase.

"Hey! Lemme walk you home! I'm gonna be here for a while, anyway!" I walked a little faster, looking the other way, almost breaking my neck in the process, "Sorry about yesterday! I guess I should've been a little more.. y'know, _chill_ about talking to a stranger. Hehe."

He smiled a stupidly sexy smile, forcing me to twist my neck away at an impossible angle.

He blabbered on about how much he was sorry, only to move on to the different kinds of childish things he liked. I could hardly keep myself from tripping over seemingly nothing every five or so seconds.

This idiot had a serious effect on me, and it was seriously starting to scare the shit out of me.

So I did the only thing I was good at: being a complete ass.

I didn't want _anyone _near.

"I don't know why you insist on talking," I hissed, staring him dead in the eye, "I don't care."

Not even a moment later, he laughed.

Slapping my shoulder in the process, no less, as if I'd just finished telling some kind of fantastically hilarious joke.

"You're so good at these things, Sasuke! Being all funny and mean at the same _exact_ time! Kinda like.. my mom! But better!" My arms crossed themselves against me, giving up. First he blabbers on about stupid, nonsensical shit that I couldn't give my last shit about, then he compares me to his.. _mother_? A new level of idiocy had officially been reached. "-then the frogs! The big, fat, orange one has always been my favorite!. Though I always thought that the blue one had a bit more of an edge, you know? Anyways, I'm getting a new bike next week- "

Several decades later, we reached my house.

"Here, text me! You're really cool!" before I could defend myself, or possibly die from the large amount of insects fluttering inside my stomach, he quickly scribbled some numbers on one of my limbs. "Maybe we could hang out sometime! My birthday's coming up!"

I didn't quite know why he found it necessary to _shout _every absurdity that came out of his mouth, but what I did know was that I couldn't stop staring at him in continuant disbelief.

He was so hellishly hot.

Before he left, he managed to catch me off-guard just enough to be able to actually_ hug_ me. I could feel his arms encircling me, and I stiffened. I wanted more, and before I knew it, I attempted to hold him in return. He pulled away right at that instant, however, making me feel foolish yet again.

"Don't forget to text me!"

He ran off, and I stood like a blushing queer at my front door just staring at him as he ran further and further away from me. I felt like I was losing something with every step he made.

I finally found the sense to step inside, realizing that he was not going to magically skip back and waltz into my room for a quick, sweaty fuck. The blinking answering machine on the kitchen counter was the first thing that caught my attention the moment I planted my feet back into the hatefulness of reality.

My brow rose.

No one ever called the house phone. That's what my parents cellphones were for. I pressed the button, and the first thing I heard was the reverberative ululation of my brother's porn-worthy voice.

My body stammered, and I held my breath. I died a little. I began to feel sick.

_Sasuke, I had a call from your school today. You're coming late to class.. Father would be very disappointed. I hear they're both gone. I'll come down tomorrow . We will meet with your teacher._

My eyes widened, feeling as if the air, itself, had punched me right in the gizzard.

I found myself replaying the message a second time.

A third time.

Probably even a fourth. I felt a hardening somewhere on my body, and before I knew it, my hand was underneath my pants, rubbing furiously at the skin on my cock as if I'd never touched dick before in my life.

His voice.. The way it slithered through the machine and right into my ears..

I replayed the message vigorously like a dog in heat, listening mostly for my name. Minutes later, my hand lied soaked with cum, the spasm of my orgasm thawing me from the outside in. For a moment in time, I longed for dick in my ass. Then I wondered what it would have felt like if I'd put my own inside a certain somebody..

The feeling must have been astonishing, deeming from the expressions Itachi would make when he'd secretly fuck me.

My seed was a thick, sticky web between my fingers, and before I could truly try against it, I found myself sucking frantically on them; licking and relishing the taste of myself thoroughly. I did not intend for the whoreish mewling that resonated within my throat as I did so, but the thoughts of shoving myself into Naruto's ass while being fucked by Itachi at the same time were simply overwhelming.

I was sweating.

It took me a second to realize what _exactly_ I'd just been doing. I nearly broke the answering machine when I smacked it hard on the ground out of sheer and utter frustration.

I felt so filthy. So dirty. Ashamed.

I ran to the bathroom to clean myself up, collapsing like a complete bitch with my back to the wall. The guilt overrode my mind. Guilt of everything.

Why was it that I still remained alive?

My pitiful cries filled the vicinity of the bathroom, tears splaying on my knees. Just then, the same phone from before began to ring.

**oOo**

**Gawd, I'm so tired. Dx Barely managed through the end. Re-writing shit is SOOOoo much harder than just starting from scratch. Sigh~ Sorry if everything was a mess. Truly.**

**I wanna thank all of my wonderful readers. You are my reason for _any and all_ of these stories. xD I'm a slow writer, I know, but bear with me. I write every sentence with utmost love and care. Seriously. Sometimes I spend ten to twenty minutes on one. Comments down below, my luhhs? :3 xx**


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